First—leadership from sparring.

Now—leadership from the beauty salon.  (Guys—hang in here with me.)

Last week I took a risk.  I walked into a beauty salon on East Blvd, sat down in the chair of a hair stylist I had just met and said, “I’m ready for a change.  Start cutting.” After her nervous reply “Are you sure?”  I nodded and she started cutting.  After her Edward Scissorhands impression (I had never seen that much hair on the floor after a haircut) I looked in the mirror and she asked, “What do you think?” I was surprised at my eye-opening and heartwarming thought:  I’m so grateful I wasn’t attached to my hair.

I loved my new “do” and more than that, I loved the freedom I felt in creating a new experience for myself.  Had I been “attached” to my hair or the comfort zone the old style provided me, I would have missed out on the excitement of change and the confidence I felt in the “newness.”

Attachment has many different styles for each of us and it’s detrimental to our leadership and life fulfillment.

What might it look like?

• The need to be “right” so we hold back from sharing our ideas, observations and opinions and just blend in.
• Being attached to our ideas, so much so that when others ask for clarity we get defensive or we’re simply not open to others’ ideas in addition to ours.
• Attachment to being the “perfect parent” so we PTA, soccer coach and volunteer ourselves to exhaustion.  Only to come home to our families as a grumpy, impatient, overbearing mom/dad.  Ironic, eh?

Attachment works against us.  It limits our effectiveness as leaders and breeds frustration in our relationships.  It loves subtlety and justification and enjoys the roles the victim, villain and martyr—sometimes all in the same sentence.

Not being attached does not mean being “detached” either.  Detached often hangs around with apathy and absence of emotion.

We can be incredibly passionate AND not be attached.

We can care deeply or believe strongly in something AND not be attached.

We can value our observations or feedback enough to share it with others without being attached.  My clients know the meaning of “throwing spaghetti” on the wall to see if it sticks.

Not being attached can be powerful, effective, confident and attractive.  It frees us up to co-create some really cool things in the world because we’re no longer trying to control everything and everyone around us.  Nor are we trying to be everything to everyone around us.

What are you attached to?  How might you begin to keep your heart in it while letting go of the unhealthy need (or fear) that’s lurking in there?

I would like to hear your honest answers and would be honored to help you “let go” and become more positively powerful.

Blessings,

Coach Cathy